August 14, 2011

I’ve been blocked.  That’s why I haven’t posted in my blog for so long.

When my Dad was sick and all I could think of was him.  And when he died, all I could think of was him.  And my Mom asked me not to write about it.  But that is all I could think of.

So I haven’t written.

……For a very long time.

I’ve been focusing on healing.

Healing my heart, my body, my soul.

Heart-wise – I’m still sad.

I still have days I cry.  I think about my Dad alot. I think about what he would say or want me to do.  I think about how he would congratulate my little victories and give me one of his charming smiles and a big bear hug that you feel for days after. He comes to me in my dreams.  He says he’s proud.  Even in my sub-concious he’s telling me he’s proud, that is so like him.

I’m trying to look at myself differently.

Maybe it’s just that I am different now.

My Father’s passing has changed me somehow. I watched him pass into the light. But still I feel his presence around me. I hear him in the Cardinals.  I feel him when I sit in his chair.  I kept a pillow with his colonge on it.  It makes me feel like I’m near him again. I hope that never disapates.

Time will heal.

I’m healing my body by loving myself with good nutrition, exercise and sleep.

I’m healing my soul by surrounding myself with those that make me feel good.  No more negativity, life is too short for negativity.  Only kindness to others.  No more complaining.

Positive thoughts and experiences will bring positive back in.

I breathe—breathe deeply–

Peaceful thoughts, peaceful words, peaceful heart.



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